


Inconvenient Discorporation

by knightinmourning



Series: Ineffable Husbands Bingo Fills [11]
Category: Good Omens
Genre: Discorporation (Good Omens), Lawn Mower Accident, M/M, Sharing a Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinmourning/pseuds/knightinmourning
Summary: Crowley gets discorporated in a lawn mower accident. Aziraphale has to stop laughing for five minutes long enough to help him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Husbands Bingo Fills [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1425583
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76
Collections: Ineffable Husbands Bingo





	Inconvenient Discorporation

**Author's Note:**

> For the "Lawn Mower Accident" square of the Ineffable Husbands Bingo.

Aziraphale isn’t sure what quite what to think when Newt walks into his kitchen like he owns the place.

It’s been a few years since the apocalypse, and they’ve kept in touch, sure, but there are rules to this sort of thing. Standards. You call and ask if someone’s free first before you break into their cottage and storm into their kitchen.

Except that wasn’t Newt. Or wasn’t just Newt. The sunglasses would have given it away if the swagger didn’t. “Crowley, dear, what happened? I thought you were out mowing the lawn.”

“I was. And I used the blessed lawn mower, because it wouldn’t be the same. Those contraptions are death traps, Aziraphale! You’re lucky I was just discorporated.” Crowley-as-Newt’s face was more expressionate than normal, curling into frustration and anger. Before it had been annoying to be discorporated, but now that they weren’t in regular contact with either side, fixing this might be a little more difficult.

That said, Crowley seemed just fine right now, aside from the missing body and all, and Aziraphale couldn’t believe he’d managed to discorporate himself while mowing the lawn, of all things. The laughter bubbled out of him as he took stock of their current situation, Crowley-in-Newt’s-Body looking grumpier by the minute. After a few minutes, he was able to get himself under control and continue the conversation.

“Alright, Crowley. It’s fine, we’ll fix this. And thank you, Newt, for being such a good sport. You’ll have your body back on your own, soon enough.”

Newt’s expression shifted. It wasn’t calm in the least, but it was more wide-eyed fear than raw, furious energy. “I’ll be honest, I don’t quite understand what’s happening right now.”

“Crowley was discorporated and somehow managed to use you as a host, dear boy. If you’ll accompany me outside, we can see about fixing you both up.”

Crowley led the way, shoulders back and head down in petulance. It would have been menacing in his usual body, but in Newt’s body, just came across as childish as it truly was. As they walked out to their lawn, Aziraphale could see the lawn mower laying on its side.

Beside it was the gruesome sight of the body once known as Anthony J. Crowley.

There was blood. There were limbs. There were guts and brains and bones and muscle.

They just… weren’t quite where they should be.

“How did this even happen, Crowley? The mower has a safety switch that disengages the blade on uneven ground, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, well, I wanted to finish faster so I miracled the switch and upped the speed. You know, just a little. It went fine, until the hill.”

Newt regained control for a moment. “Um, I don’t mean to be that guy or anything, but this is really quite horrifying and it’s starting to smell…”

“Of course, you’re completely right. Here, let’s see if we can set things straight. Crowley can explain later how he’s managed this level of ridiculous destruction.” Aziraphale used a miracle to knit the body back together, each individual piece lifting up and returning to exactly the right place.

“Newt’s fainted, I just thought you should know.” Crowley said as he watched his angel work wonders to return him to himself.

“You’ve put him through a lot today.”

“I’ve been through a lot today. He’s just along for the ride.”

The body was finished, back to one piece and moved to a safe distance away from the mower. There was just one more step.

“Alright, I think we can do this without a hitch, but you’re going to need to jump just as I’m returning life to the body.” Aziraphale waited for Crowley’s nod, and then continued. “On three, then. Three… Two… One!”

He blew gently towards the body, and at the same time Newt - now just Newt - began to collapse at Aziraphale’s side. Wrapping an arm around the man, he lowered him to the ground before pressing his fingers to Newt’s temple. His eyes blinked open, looking more confused than before.

“How long have I been out? Where’s Crowley? Everything’s very quiet all of a sudden. No one’s fighting for control.”

“He’s got his own body back,” Aziraphale replied, nodding to wear Crowley was pushing himself up to standing and stretching out the kinks in his back and neck. Coming back from death and dismemberment could leave one a bit achy for a few days.

Once Crowley was done, he looked over, his eyes locking on Newt, and walked up to him with his hand out. They shook hands first, Crowley grinning. “Thank you, Newt. Really appreciate letting me borrow your body for a bit. I really would’ve been in trouble if I’d had to get all the way back here in a body that didn’t know about demons.”

“Uh, anytime, I guess. You’re welcome.”

Crowley lifted the sunglasses off of Newt’s face and slid them onto his own.

“Stay for dinner, Newt, and then Crowley can drive you home.”

The glare Crowley gave him was worth it, and they both knew that if they didn’t return Newt in one piece, it would be Anathema they’d have to answer to. And she might only be a witch, but she could still be scary when she wanted to be.

“Thanks. That’d be great. And I’m glad you’re okay, Mr. Crowley. I bet getting discorporated isn’t very fun, but at least your husband was able to save you!”

And just like that, Crowley softened, smiling softly and drawing Aziraphale against him to kiss his temple. They walked back to the house, leaving the lawn mower precariously balanced on its side, blood still faintly visible on its blade.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos appreciated :)


End file.
